One more story. One more glass of water. One more trip to the toilet. And just when the house is finally quiet, a little voice calls out again. If bedtime in your home feels like a nightly battle, you are far from alone. This article shows you how to get kids to sleep with a calm, consistent plan that works for toddlers and school-age children.
You will learn why children resist sleep, how to build a bedtime routine that sticks, and what to do when your child keeps waking up at night.
Why do kids fight sleep?
Most bedtime struggles are not about bad behaviour. Common reasons include:
- Being overtired — an overtired child often looks wired instead of sleepy.
- Separation — bedtime means saying goodnight to you, which can feel hard.
- Inconsistent timing — when bedtime moves around, the body clock gets confused.
- Screens and stimulation — bright screens and exciting play make it harder to wind down.
- Worries — older children often start thinking about school, friends or fears once the lights go off.
How much sleep do children need?
Needs differ per child, but as a general guide, toddlers often need around 11–14 hours in 24 hours (including naps), preschoolers around 10–13 hours and school-age children around 9–12 hours. Watch your child too: regular meltdowns, trouble waking up or falling asleep in the car can all be signs of too little sleep.
How to get kids to sleep: a 7-step bedtime plan
1. Pick a fixed bedtime
Choose a bedtime that fits your child's age and stick to it, also at weekends where you can. A regular rhythm helps the body feel sleepy at the same time each night.
2. Start winding down early
Dim the lights and switch to quiet activities about 30–60 minutes before bed. Turn off screens at least an hour before sleep if possible.
3. Use the same routine every night
For example: bath, pyjamas, teeth, toilet, two books, a cuddle, lights out. The order matters more than the details. Young children love a picture chart of the steps.
4. Make the bedroom sleep-friendly
Aim for a dark, quiet and slightly cool room. A small night light is fine for children who are scared of the dark.
5. Give a little control
Let your child choose which pyjamas to wear or which book to read. Small choices reduce power struggles over the big one: going to bed.
6. Keep goodnight short and warm
Say goodnight in the same way every evening and leave calmly. Long negotiations at the door usually make things harder.
7. Respond to call-outs calmly and boringly
If your child gets out of bed, walk them back with as few words as possible. Stay kind but low-key, so getting up is not more interesting than staying in bed.
What to do about night waking
If your child wakes at night, keep the lights low and your voice soft. Comfort briefly and guide them back to sleep in their own bed where possible. Nightmares need reassurance and a cuddle; regular night waking often improves once the evening routine is consistent.
Common bedtime mistakes
- Letting bedtime slide later and later
- Using screens to help a child fall asleep
- Adding "just one more" every night
- Very exciting play or rough-and-tumble right before bed
When to seek advice
Talk to your GP or health visitor if your child snores loudly, seems to stop breathing during sleep, is very sleepy during the day, or if sleep problems continue despite a steady routine.
Frequently asked questions
What is a good bedtime for a 5-year-old? Many children of this age do well with a bedtime between about 7 and 8 pm, depending on when they need to wake up.
Should I lie down with my child until they fall asleep? It is fine if it works for your family. If you want to stop, gradually move further from the bed over a couple of weeks.
How long does it take for a new routine to work? Many families see improvement within one to two weeks of being consistent.
Calmer evenings start tonight
Want a complete sleep plan with routine charts, checklists and scripts for tricky moments? Our interactive PDF guide Finally, Restful Nights — A Practical Sleep Guide for Parents of Children Aged 1–12 helps you build better nights for the whole family. Download it instantly.